My Heart Hurts

May 12, 2020

Natasha Sewell

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My heart hurts tonight. My mama heart literally hurts.

It’s hard to put into words. But as I sit here and think about my two amazing boys that are missing out on the end of their senior years, my heart breaks and tears stream down my face.

For my oldest who has worked (and played) hard during his four years at Chapel Hill. He was so looking forward to the last few months of school, to spending this time with the friends he has made over the past four years, to parties and celebrations. 

And we were looking forward to celebrating him. The hotel was booked and dinner reservations were made. We wanted to celebrate him in a BIG way.

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For my youngest, who has really found himself over the past 15 months. Who reached his goal of making it into a nationwide speech and debate tournament only to have it cancelled. To missing early admitted students’ day at Northeastern, the special spring break trip we had planned, senior prom, an 18th birthday celebration with friends, and a big trip to Disney with his best friends to celebrate graduation.

We watched him at the high school graduation last year. He was a junior marshal and helped students down the stairs after they crossed the stage. And it breaks my heart that he won’t be crossing that stage in June.

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I know so many people are hurting right now. Jobs lost, businesses shut down (including mine), lives lost…but tonight I needed some time to process what my boys have lost. And I want them to know that I am with them in mourning all they have missed out on. But I also want to focus on the joy. They fill me with it each and every day. And right now, we need to focus on that joy.

Congratulations to all the 2020 graduates! May this difficult time give you the strength to do anything!